My inspiration for how to honor this momentous day came from the extraordinary book “A Gentleman in Moscow” by Amor Towles.
“It was at Idlehour (the country estate) in 1910 that Miska first witnessed the Rostov’s long-standing tradition – of gathering on the tenth anniversary of a family member’s death to raise a glass of Chateauneuf-du-Pape. Two days after the Count and he had arrived for their holiday, the guests began to appear. By four in the afternoon the drive was lined with surreys, britzkas, droshkies and gigs from Moscow and St. Petersberg and all the neighboring districts. And when the family gathered in the hall at five, it was the Grand Duke who was given the honor of raising the first glass in memory of the Count’s parents, who had died just hours apart. Then the bottle was opened, the wine was poured , and the two old friends raised their glasses on high.”
I mentioned this idea last month to our deep and thoughtful cousin Tom Case after the incredible memorial their family presented to honor the passing of his mother Joan;who was beloved by virtually everyone who knew her. Today we received a beautiful card from Tom and Lisa, with another quote from this same book. After a good cleansing cry I ate a big chunk of dark chocolate and sat down to share this.
“He has said that our lives are steered by uncertainties, many of which are disruptive and even daunting; but that if we persevere and remain generous of heart, we may be granted a moment of supreme lucidity – a moment in which all that has happened to us suddenly comes into focus as a necessary course of events, even as we find ourselves on the threshold of a bold new life that we had been meant to lead all along.”
Sunrise at the Grand Canyon, January 2008
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
“Generous of heart” – that describes you perfectly, my friend! Thinking of you today. You, Casey, Brittany & Ryan have honored Jimmy not just on this day, but with your journey over these 10 years. You’ve modeled resilience for us all and that’s a trait we all need going forward into our “bold new lives”. So much love to you!
Yvonne’s words are perfect. (Like her cookie recipe, they can’t be much improved upon!) “In compassion and grace, be like the sun.” Rumi’s advice is all that can be added to describe the work you have done. We don’t just arrive at wide love and compassion without practice. Thank you for sharing this tribute from a favorite author. And thank you for sharing this blog. Raising a glass!
Thank you for the Rumi advice! And for all your support , Deb. xo H.
Dear Hilary, Thinking of you, Jimmy and family as I reach for a recipe to sooth an anguish soul. All through these 10 years, you have shown us all how to “persevere and remain generous at heart”.
Raising a glass too! Love, Fran
And cheers to you Dear Fran! You were one of the inspirations for Heronearth when our family so appreciated the wonderful quiche you brought us from Thyme in the Ranch. If I still remember that from 10 years ago it clearly made a difference! xo